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<title>It wasn't her by MrFisti</title>
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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25762939">It wasn't her</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/MrFisti/pseuds/MrFisti'>MrFisti</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Critical Role (Web Series)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Character Death, Disintegration, F/M, Mental Health Issues, Spoilers</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 05:28:19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>606</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25762939</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/MrFisti/pseuds/MrFisti</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>A quick fic about if *that* roll had succeeded, episode 105 spoilers.</p>
<p>"Make it Jester."</p>
<p>Alternatively, Liam O'Brien has seen our souls and fed the angst within them.</p>
<p>Alternatively, what if it wasn't Jester?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Jester Lavorre/Caleb Widogast</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>44</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>It wasn't her</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>Let it be Jester.</em>
</p>
<p>That was the first thought that crossed Caleb's mind, as the spell released from the tip of his outstretched thumb.</p>
<p>Horror, shock.... acceptance. As the spell flashed through the air, Vokodo's scream of rage and fear echoed, a wall of force erected out of thin air, and the streak of green reflected in an instant, gone before Caleb could track where it had gone.</p>
<p>He had known this would happen. The spell would have been reflected at Jester, of course it would have, and <em>schiesse</em>, why was he such a fool, why would he cast that damn spell <em>knowing</em> it would be reflected at Jester, <em>Jester</em>, who had banished the creature to a dimension it had fought tooth and nail to escape from, a dimension which they had viewed even briefly from the Happy Fun Ball, the Happy Fun Ball where Caleb had also realized too late that <em>Jester</em> had been left alone, <em>Jester</em> would face the consequences... </p>
<p>Always, always it would be Jester.</p>
<p><em>Good</em>, whispered the voice in his mind.</p>
<p>
  <em>Good. Another obstacle removed. Another weakness, Bren. Another body cut from your web.</em>
</p>
<p>The voice that sounded <em>so</em> like Ikithon.</p>
<p>
  <em>Another fool, who trusted you, and another fool who goes to the grave because of your selfish actions.</em>
</p>
<p>The voice that sounded so like <em>himself.</em></p>
<p>
  <em>They're better off.</em>
</p>
<p>And it was what he deserved, wasn't it? For his foolishness, for his arrogance?</p>
<p>
  <em>Good.</em>
</p>
<p>For daring to think he could be the hero?</p>
<p>
  <em>She's gone.</em>
</p>
<p>For daring to think he could mean something?</p>
<p>
  <em>She's gone, and it is <strong>your fault</strong>, Bren.</em>
</p>
<p>For daring to-</p>
<p>"Hey, Cayleb?"</p>
<p>He blinked. The haze in front of him. Vokodo's corpse, drifting.</p>
<p>
  <em>She's gone, you fool, GONE, <strong>because of you.</strong></em>
</p>
<p>He blinked again.</p>
<p>Ah yes. The cave.</p>
<p>"Cayleb, we've got to go, c'mon, we've got to-"</p>
<p>A voice, sniffling from beside him.</p>
<p>Wait, that was... was that.. Jester?</p>
<p>"VETH!" roared Fjord, his voice blaring despite the water, an alarm, striking dumbly against the haze in Caleb's mind.</p>
<p>Veth?</p>
<p>What was Fjord shouting for, because Jester was <em>dead</em>, Caleb <em>knew</em> she was dead, of course she would be, but no, something was pulling at his jacket, there was a pressure, and he looked to the side, and Jester was there, so Jester could not be dead, ja, that was only obvious, but then who...?</p>
<p>"CALEB, YOU IDIOT" roared Beau in his left ear, "SNAP OUT OF IT, WE NEED TO SAVE HER!"</p>
<p>But they <em>didn't</em> need to save her, she was <em>there</em>, Jester was <em>there</em>, next to him, crying, why was she crying, <em>she was alright</em>, and that was all Caleb could think of, all that mattered.</p>
<p>
  <em>Jester was alive.</em>
</p>
<p>But she was crying, and looking at something behind him, so he turned around, because what could <em>possibly</em> be the source, what could be wrong when she was still alive, when Jester was <em>alive</em>, and nothing could be..</p>
<p>
  <em>-A pile of ash, floating, with a crossbow sinking slowly to the bottom of the cavern-</em>
</p>
<p>But no, Jester was alive, ja?</p>
<p>"Cayleb, please, we need you, we need to know, we can't bring back ash, Caleb, how do we do it?"</p>
<p>She was alive and that was all that mattered-</p>
<p>
  <em>-A pile of ash, floating where there should have been a yellow dress-</em>
</p>
<p>Because Caleb knew that it had to have been Jester, and if it wasn't Jester, what could possibly matter so much, why were they all shouting, she was <em>here</em>, she was <em>alive</em>-</p>
<p>
  <em>-A pile of ash, where there should have been a halfling-</em>
</p>
<p>She was alive-</p>
<p>
  <em>-A pile of ash, where Veth Brenatto should have been-</em>
</p>
<p>...</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hey all, first time posting something here, so, definitely let me know if something is off. Leave a review if possible!</p>
<p>I'm going to try to update with at least one more chapter? But we'll see how it goes. </p>
<p>Hope y'all had a good Thursday!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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